A Sign From God
God was in a rut.
He’d had it up to the tip of his beard with signs.
For one thing, He couldn’t shake the feeling that He was always either providing sign after sign to those too distracted or oblivious to notice them, or feeling guilty for not having signs to give to all the well-meaning people out there desperately seeking them.
And for another thing, “a sign from God” was beyond clichéd at this point. He knew it; everyone knew it.
So when Traci at the copy shop told Him they were currently running a special on banners, God said, “Talk to me, my child.”
Long story short, if you’ve seen one of the following banners recently:
YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY GO TO GRAD SCHOOL.
TRY THE MU SHU PORK!
DON’T ASK SHEILA TO MARRY YOU. YOU’LL REGRET IT, JERRY.
(this means you, Karen, Scott, and—obviously—Jerry), trust me—it wasn’t a coincidence.
At buy two, get the third free, it was an absolute STEAL. Not to mention lucky for you, Jerry. God may not have sprung for that third banner at its regular retail price.