The Guy With The Hair
At first, when Mitch found out people were making fun of his comb-over, he was upset and embarrassed.
I mean, if he was being completely honest, he knew it wasn’t a good look and that he wasn’t fooling anyone with it, but still. He hated the fact that he’d gone bald, and people snickering at his feeble attempt to cover up that fact felt like his worst fear realized: That he was less respected for not having a full head of hair.
His first instinct was to give up and just shave off those long strands of hair he’d carefully cultivated for the purpose of plastering across his bare scalp.
But then he had an idea.
He kept the hair as it was and went to work the next day with it “au naturel”: The long hair not carefully combed over and pasted to his scalp, but instead just hanging down over his ear. He made no mention of it and went about business as usual. He wanted to see what they’d all say, and it turned out he got some looks, but no one said anything.
He followed up that experiment with several more over the following days and weeks. He braided the long hair tightly against his head, forming a single cornrow. He corralled the hair into a scrunchee, sporting a single pigtail. He dyed the hair red, then platinum blonde, then jet black. He kept the hair unwashed for a few days, then twisted it into a solitary dreadlock. And finally, he coated the long hair with a potent combination of Elmer’s glue and mustache wax, forming the strands into a solid spike jutting out almost perpendicularly from the side of his head.
People did start to talk about it at that point, and it was the most fun Mitch had ever had. He never would have guessed that his male pattern baldness would one day lead to him being known around the office as, of all things, “the guy with the hair”.