The Seat Of Your Pants
Wes rolled onto his side and nudged Rebecca.
“I am now”, she said, looking at the clock on the nightstand.
Not taking the hint, Wes continued. “Why do you think they say ‘Flying by the seat of your pants?’ Why not ‘flying by the crotch’, or ‘flying by the inseam’, or ‘flying by the waistband’? The seat of your pants means the butt, right? Why would you fly by your butt?…Hey–why not ‘fly by the fly of your pants’? Right? Fly by your butt–button fly! Heh, heh…see what I did there? Anyway, good night.”
He rolled onto his other side and immediately started snoring.
Rebecca couldn’t get back to sleep. She had to be up in a few hours anyway, so she mentally planned out her morning: She’d get up, shower, have a quick breakfast, and dump Wes.
She figured he could wake up his next girlfriend at three in the morning and ask her, say, why the word “dump” is used for breaking up with someone and also for pooping, since he seemed to like talking about butts so much.