The Seat Of Your Pants
Wes rolled onto his side and nudged Rebecca.
“Hey–you awake?”
“I am now”, she said, looking at the clock on the nightstand.
3:17AM.
Not taking the hint, Wes continued. “Why do you think they say ‘Flying by the seat of your pants?’ Why not ‘flying by the crotch’, or ‘flying by the inseam’, or ‘flying by the waistband’? The seat of your pants means the butt, right? Why would you fly by your butt?…Hey–why not ‘fly by the fly of your pants’? Right? Fly by your butt–button fly! Heh, heh…see what I did there? Anyway, good night.”
He rolled onto his other side and immediately started snoring.
Rebecca couldn’t get back to sleep. She had to be up in a few hours anyway, so she mentally planned out her morning: She’d get up, shower, have a quick breakfast, and dump Wes.
She figured he could wake up his next girlfriend at three in the morning and ask her, say, why the word “dump” is used for breaking up with someone and also for pooping, since he seemed to like talking about butts so much.
8thdayfiction 
Awesome. I was trying to predict if she was going to dump him with her morning plans, or shower, have a quick breakfast, and figure out how to make Wes driving into Lake Winnipesaukee look like an accident. Dumping him worked much better for the last sentence though!
On a side note, I like talking about butts too, BUT ONLY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 10AM AND 8PM. Have some self control, geez.
Seriously…it’s not an early morning or late night thing. Come on!