Jack was nervous. It was his first day on the job as a PWOWE (Pithy Words Of Wisdom Expander; “pea-wow-ee” for short), and he wanted to make a good impression.
He’d been tasked with expanding “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” He decided to dive right in, and by lunch, he’d come up with:
Fool me three times, and you’re once, twice, three times a fooler.
Fool me four times, and I’ll sing Steve Perry’s “Foolish Heart” at karaoke night as punishment for being so easily fooled.
Fool me five times, and I’ll appear to be good-natured about it on the outside but inside I’ll be secretly filled to the brim with rage whenever I see your face.
Fool me six times, triple shame on me, and if I were an ancient samurai I’d probably commit hara-kiri due to so much shame.
Fool me seven times, and I’ll punch you in the neck with brass knuckles.
Fool me eight times, and I’ll tell you to knock it off because like my favorite TV show, EIGHT IS ENOUGH.
Fool me nine times, and if times getting fooled were lives and I were a cat, I’d be dead.
Fool me ten times, and I bow to your fooling greatness, for I have been DECAfooled.
Fool me eleven times, and I will blame it on the rain that was fallin’, fallin’.
Fool me twelve times, and seriously–find yourself another mark, already.
Fool me thirteen times, and you deserve a cupcake, as you have fooled me a baker’s dozen times.
Pleased with his morning’s work, Jack headed for lunch.
But he knew he’d have to make it quick. His boss was expecting an expansion of at least one hundred times fooled by the end of the week.