…and on the 8th day, micro fiction was published on some dude's blog.

Scratch-Resistant Coating

Henry got the call that his new glasses were ready, and he headed to the mall.

He walked to the counter at the back of the store, where a woman was standing; she looked up and said, “Hi, how are ya, how can I help you?”

“Yes,” Henry replied, “I’m here to pick up my glasses? Henry Collier?”

“OK…” She glanced around under the counter. “Oh, yes–here we go.” She pulled out a small plastic tray and picked up the new glasses, unfolding the arms. She set them aside to look at the receipt. “Sooo…you didn’t get the scratch-resistant coating on the lenses…you sure about that? We could add it now, if you’d like.”

“No, that’s all right. I’m sure they’re fine the way they are.”

And just as he was thinking I already ordered the glasses–let me try ’em on, pay for ’em, and get out of here; don’t try to keep selling me stuff, the woman took out a piece of coarse sandpaper, placed it on the counter, picked up his new glasses, and proceeded to grind both lenses into the sandpaper. She then picked up the glasses and turned them towards him, showing him the lenses that were now covered with tiny cross-hatched scrapes.

“How about now? They ‘fine the way they are’ now? Hmm?” she sneered, staring a hole through him.

At that moment, the store manager came out from the back, took one look at the woman, and started running towards her, yelling, “Hey! HEY! Get out of here–GET OUT!”

The woman shrieked, threw Henry’s new glasses on the floor, and took off running, stepping on the glasses and knocking customers down as she exited the store.

The manager got on the phone, had a quick conversation with Mall Security, then turned to Henry.

“I am so sorry–she actually doesn’t work here. She just keeps showing up and impersonating an employee and doing stuff like that.” He motioned to the glasses on the floor. “Obviously, we’ll replace those at no extra charge.”

Henry thought for a moment, then said, “You know what? Don’t worry about it. I think I might just go with contacts this time.” And right on cue, two security guards dragged the woman back past the storefront, as she was kicking and screaming, “WAKE UP, PEOPLE! YOU’RE BEING LIED TO! HOT TOPIC IS NEITHER HOT NOR A TOPIC! WAKE UP!”

“And maybe I’ll order those contacts online,” Henry added.


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4 thoughts on “Scratch-Resistant Coating

  1. Thanks: I needed a good laugh!

  2. Ok, so I know most people would not try to identify with the crazy lady in this story, but seriously, how great would it be to pretend to work at place and go loco on the customers? I wouldn’t mind changing all the signs in the blanket section of Bed Bath and Beyond to say “Night time Forever Lazy” or the “Open Snuggie” and try to convince people they’re not just ordinary blankets like the ones that have been around since the invention of the….loom (I’m guessing?).

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