8thdayfiction

…and on the 8th day, micro fiction was published on some dude's blog.

Mr. Barnaby

Scott couldn’t stand Mr. Barnaby.

But when Mr. Barnaby announced that tomorrow was going to be “Pie Day” in their Third Period Geometry class, Scott suddenly thought that maybe he had Mr. Barnaby all wrong. After all, anyone who plans a day in honor of pie can’t be all bad.

But then it turned out that Mr. Barnaby was talking about the stupid math pi, 3.14-whatever, and Scott was disappointed and felt stupid for not realizing right away what kind of pi it was and decided that he was right about Mr. Barnaby all along: The man was a numbers-loving wienerhead.

But then, Scott trudged into class the next day and saw an actual PIE–the kind you eat–sitting on Mr. Barnaby’s desk, and again he started to wonder if a re-evaluation of his Geometry teacher was in order.

But THEN, Mr. Barnaby started class by lifting the pie off his desk, showing it to the students, and announcing in his whiny Barnaby voice, “This fresh banana cream pie–made from scratch by my Great Aunt Thelma–goes to the first student who correctly calculates pi out to the twentieth decimal place…by hand, showing all of his or her work. Annnnnnd…GO! HAPPY PI DAY!”, and Scott realized he hated Mr. Barnaby more than ever.

Being a weirdo numbers-and-shapes nerd was one thing, but teasing impressionable students with false promises of pie? A LINE HAD BEEN CROSSED.

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2 thoughts on “Mr. Barnaby

  1. Any time the phrase “false promises of pie” is uttered, a line has been crossed indeed! I’m mad at Mr. Barnaby and I don’t even know the guy.

    Also, nobody but a great aunt knows how to make banana cream pie.

    • Fun facts: “Thelma” was my paternal grandmother’s name, and Laura’s great aunts on the Wingard side of the family were famous for the pies they’d make for the Sportsman’s Club booth at the Dayton Fair.

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