So there Fran was last night, exhausted and on the verge of drifting off to blissful sleep, when Garth attacked her.
He was already in bed fast asleep when she’d entered the bedroom earlier, so she had taken great pains to tiptoe around the bed and into the bathroom, then carefully get herself under the covers so as not to disturb him. As she pulled the blankets over herself, Fran noticed Garth hadn’t nudged a bit and was still snoring, so she thought she’d been successful.
But about twenty minutes later, out of nowhere, he sat up in bed, grabbed her with both hands, and lifted her up, putting her sideways over his shoulders while yelling, “MERYL STREEP! MERYL STREEP!” From what Fran could tell, he had stayed asleep the entire time it was happening, as he ignored her punches and screams to stop, didn’t appear to to have opened his eyes at all, and, just as quickly as he had sat up and grabbed her, dropped her off his shoulders and onto the floor, at which point he flopped back down on his pillow and immediately started snoring again.
The fact that the incident was apparently sleep-induced, however, was no comfort to Fran as she lay in bed the next morning, holding the muscles by her rib cage that Garth had yanked out of place during the previous night’s craziness.
She was furious, and it made her even more enraged that Garth was just sprawled out next to her, fully refreshed and wide awake, regaling her with the story of the “weird dream” he had last night. As he lay there giggling and babbling, Fran shot him a look that said, Really? A “weird dream”, huh? Well, tell me all about it…and then I AM GOING TO THROTTLE YOU.