Small Town Blues
I just really thought making the move to a small town would be a change for the better. I was looking forward to having a place to call “home” where you know all your neighbors and they know you and everyone looks out for everyone else and lends a helping hand when needed. A real community, you know?
But ever since I arrived, it’s been nothing but negativity. Everywhere I go, it’s all “We don’t use the barter system here, and even if we did, we wouldn’t take a Gary Matthews baseball card as payment for your groceries”, or “Please stop sunbathing in your front yard wearing nothing but your Stormtrooper helmet; you’re scaring our kids”, or “No, we won’t take an IOU for those Cool Ranch Doritos”, or “I’m going to have to ask you to leave…why? Because Speedos aren’t pants, that’s why”, even when my dress shirt was neatly pressed and CLEARLY tucked into the Speedo.
Bunch of stuck-up phonies, is what this town’s full of, honest to God.