For the past few weeks, he’d been having variations on the same weird dream: He was onstage at the TED Conference, with no idea how he got there, and he was giving a talk on some ludicrous topic. One time, it was “Mimeograph Machines: Why They’re Still Relevant”, another time, it was “Hey, Check Out My Collection Of Vintage Smurf Figurines”.
In the most recent dream, he was pacing back and forth in front of the audience, wearing some ridiculous plastic “futuristic warrior” outfit and waving a toy gun around, saying, “Anyone wanna play laser tag with me? Anyone? How about you, sir? You, ma’am? No? Anyone?”
The laser tag dream was the last straw; he decided he was going to stop the dreams once and for all.
So Ted Conference went through the process of legally changing his first name to Campbell.
And then, a few weeks after the name change was official, he started having dreams about old-school hockey, and in said dreams he was always sporting a majestic, flowing mullet. Campbell realized at that point that when it came to his choice for a new first name, he had totally nailed it.