Operation Goodbye, Farewell And Amen
Oliver Warbucks had a problem. A delinquent-taxes-going-back-almost-a-decade problem.
But he was also filthy rich, and being so, he knew people. He had connections.
So the government offered him a deal: Jail, pay the taxes–all of them, plus interest and penalties, or…put together a group of men for a secret mission and, upon the successful completion of the mission, the IRS would call it even on the taxes. The rest of the men would be paid by Warbucks himself from his vast personal fortune.
So Warbucks picked up the phone, and in short order, had recruited his team:
ELLIOTT HOPPER–The reconnaissance man. He could slip in literally anywhere, unnoticed.
MICHAEL TAYLOR–The hacker who occasionally liked to swap sweaters with Hopper.
ANTONIO HARDY–The weapons/explosives expert. There was no half-steppin’ when he set it off. He got the job done,
JOEY HARRIS–The hot-headed martial arts/facial hair expert who was there mostly to look pretty. He also sometimes participated in Hopper’s and Taylor’s sweater swaps.
Warbucks was the brains and (obviously) the bank of the team. They convened at his Compound for a briefing.
Their mission? Track down and take out one Francis John Patrick Mulcahy, a veteran and former man of the cloth who’d gone rogue after a harrowing yet often hijinks-filled tour in Korea. Rumor had it he was responsible for the presence of the North’s nuclear program. It was still far from a serious threat, and Warbucks and his crew were hired by the government on the down-low to make sure it stayed that way.
After the briefing, the men changed into their tuxedos, collected their weapons and fake passports, and boarded Warbucks’s private jet. Next stop: Pyongyang.
As the jet took off, Warbucks called the Pentagon on his secured line. “Free Market Capitalism I is airborne, I repeat, AIRBORNE. Operation Goodbye, Farewell And Amen is a GO. Have no fear, gentlemen: The Dad Squad is on the case.”