Take Us To Your Leader
The flying saucer touched down in a remote-looking wheat field. It seemed like a decent place to make some crop circles.
Qid and Plae disembarked from the ship and were just starting to haul out their equipment when they were surprised by a human who had wandered out from among the stalks and was now staring at them, slack-jawed.
The visitors jumped, then stared at the man silently as he stared back at them.
Finally Qid blurted out, “Take us to your leader!”
Plae slapped his forehead with a webbed hand, cursing in Kzalkian under his breath.
He took Qid by the elbow. “Can I see you for a minute?” They both waddled a few feet away from the still dumbstruck man.
“What did we talk about? If we meet a human, what is the LAST thing we’d want to say?”
“‘Take us to your leader.'”
“‘Take us to your leader.’ That’s right–so now what? We might as well get out the anal probes, because as far as that earthling is concerned, we are the stereotypical aliens they see in all their dumb TV shows and movies!”
“Dude, we don’t have any anal pro–”
“I KNOW we don’t have any anal probes! I was just trying to make a point! For the love of L. Ron Hubbard, Qid–use at least one of those brains for once!”
They turned back to speak with the man, but he had vanished.
“Well, this is FANTASTIC. He’s gone–probably calling the police or the local news channel even as we speak. I hope you’re happy with yourself…well, you know the protocol. Let’s get out of here.”
The two loaded their equipment back into the ship, then tossed a half-empty glass jug of moonshine out into the field, a precautionary measure to discredit the human should he decide to bring other humans back to the scene of their brief encounter.
As the ship slowly ascended back into the atmosphere, with lights off and in silent mode, Plae looked at his watch. On the plus side, they hadn’t even had the rental saucer out ten light years yet. If they made good time getting back, maybe they would qualify for the short-term rental discount.