Carbs And Sugar
Yeah, I need to lose some weight. I’m aware.
And I will. Eventually.
It’s just–carbs are delicious. And so is sugar.
And they’re the two things in life that are simple. They don’t talk back.
Doritos never say “We talked about this…remember?” Donuts don’t mutter “whatever” under their breath when they’re through talking. Because they don’t talk. They are fried cake, and they are tasty.
Bread doesn’t drag you to social events you couldn’t possibly care less about and then act surprised and hurt that you didn’t have a good time. Snickers bars don’t say “Oh, I’m…fine” and then stare wistfully out the window, leaving you to figure out exactly why they’re not fine and what needs to be done about it because you’re apparently a freaking mind reader.
Carbs and sugar just sit there, looking and smelling good until I eat them.
And look, I know–they’re bad for me and they make me feel bad afterwards and they make me fat. I know.
But you know what they DON’T do? DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE WHEN NOBODY EVEN ASKED FOR THEIR OPINION IN THE FIRST PLACE, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW.
So yeah, I’m going to start eating better and losing the weight. Because that seems to be the problem.
No, that wasn’t sarcastic. Well, I didn’t mean it that way, I’m sorry if you heard–I mean, I’m sorry it came out like that. Sorry.
If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen mixing up three servings’ worth of waffles. I just got a hankering for them, for some reason.