Just Glowing All Uncovered Like That
“It’s that kind of partisan rhetoric that is killing our country from within, like…like a, like…some kind of weird fungus. The kind that kills you, not the kind that just turns your toenails yellow and scaly.”
“My opponent talks a good game, but his tax plan isn’t what he claims. It’s like giving someone a hamburger and telling them it’s, um…some other much more expensive cut of meat that isn’t normally served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onions, ketchup, mustard, and maybe some mayo and pickles.”
“The middle class is getting squeezed like a…squeezy…toy. Like something a dog might play with. Or a cat. Or a strong hamster.”
“I strongly support funding for education. We can’t be the greatest nation on earth without having the best schools. That’s like trying to have the fastest car without, um…installing…thingies on it to soup it up and make it real fast.”
“Times are tough, but America has a bright future, I honestly believe that. Bright like a…like, when you have a lamp, and you take the lampshade off the lamp and it’s like “Wow! That’s bright!”, because it’s just the lit bulb, exposed, and there’s no shade covering it and directing the light from the lightbulb in one direction and you’re not used to the bulb just glowing all uncovered like that and, and you actually don’t want to look directly at the bulb because it’ll hurt your eyes.”
While it wasn’t the worst debate he’d ever had, one thing was for certain: The Senator needed to work on his illustrations and similes.