I Appreciate Your Honest Feedback
Larry opened the front door and couldn’t believe his eyes: The interior of the house was coated, floor to ceiling, with what appeared to be marshmallow fluff.
Not wanting to step into the mess–he was wearing his work clothes, which were clean and he wanted to keep them that way–he called into the house from the front step.
“Anyone in there? Everything all right?”
Judy appeared at the door. She was also coated with marshmallow fluff. She looked at–
Hey, are you OK? You look kind of puffy. Are you sure you’re all right? I–
Are you allergic to peanuts? Oh…oh no. I forgot to tell you: This story was created in a facility that processes peanuts. Oh no, I am so sorry.
OK, let’s not panic. Do you have an EpiPen? No? Well, why would someone with such a severe allergy NOT have–no, sorry, this is not your fault. This is my fault. Sorry. I should have told you before you started reading, sorry.
What? Oh…oh, yeah:
Judy appeared at the door, covered with the fluff, and said to Larry, “FYI–that warning on the jar of marshmallow fluff that says ‘DO NOT MICROWAVE’? They mean it.”
Yes. That’s the end of the story. OK, point taken–I probably could change that part of it.
OK, that’s–look, I appreciate your honest feedback, but–and I don’t mean to scare you–but your lips are blue. We need to get you to the hospital.
Well, it’s supposed to be a short story, so I don’t think adding more–you know what? While I appreciate your honest feedback, I’m not writing this down because I’m mentally taking notes for when I sit down to revise, and more importantly, YOU’RE BARELY BREATHING. You need medical attention NOW.
OK, let’s go.
Well, I bought the Corolla because it had the highest Consumer Reports rating at the time I bought it. No, this model year was before Toyota had all those recalls. OK, I appreciate your honest feedback. I will consider buying American next time. But if you could just put your seatbelt on–hello? Hey…
Hello, yes, I have someone here with a severe peanut allergy and she’s unconscious. I’m at–OK. Well, I appreciate your honest feedback. I’ll work on trying to not have my voice sound so nasally…