Box O’ Bibs
Billy pulled another box off the pile and turned to his Great Uncle Joe as he opened it.
“OK, Joe–we got…lemme see here…well, this is just a box full of…they look like some kinda plastic…are these lobster bibs?”
He pulled one out of the box and held it out for Joe to see. Joe looked up from the box he was working on and smiled.
“Oh, hey, yeah! You remember The Surf-N-Turf Shack–that place that used to be out on old 422? I went to their auction after they went out of business–got that whole box for free! Can you believe no one bid on those?”
“Wait–didn’t that place close in, like, 1991?”
“Yeah, I think so. Some time thereabouts.”
“And you saved this whole box since then? There’s gotta be, like, at least a hundred, two hundred bibs in here. So, you have any plans for these, or is this one to pitch?”
“Well…I always thought, you know, what if someday I come to find out I had a long-lost cousin, and I find out about it ’cause it turns out he put me in his will, and then it also turns out he was a big-time…uh, what’s the word?…oh yeah–a big-time commercial fisherman up in Maine or some place, and in his will he gives me his business and that means, all a sudden, BOOM: Free lobster for life. And hey, I love lobster, but there’s tons of it all a sudden and I can’t eat it all myself, so I’m gonna start hosting big lobster boils or whatever you call it–you know, free lobster for everyone in the neighborhood–because I have all this lobster, so I don’t mind giving it away, but if I’m gonna do that I don’t wanna have to go out and buy lobster bibs for everyone, right?”
Joe shrugged and made a face that seemed to say “I think you see my point”.
Billy nodded and decided that Joe did, in fact, make a valid point. He put the box of bibs in the KEEP pile.
In hindsight, Billy was not the best person to help Great Uncle Joe clean out his clutter.
In fact, in the course of that entire day spent in Joe’s garage, the only things he and Billy discarded were the wrappers from the Tastykakes they had eaten during their frequent snack breaks.
Except for one of the Butterscotch Krimpet wrappers that had a good bit of icing stuck to it; Joe decided he wanted to “save it for later”. It, too, was placed in the KEEP pile, wrapped carefully in one of the lobster bibs.