He stepped to the cashier and set down the drink carrier he’d been carefully balancing in one hand on the counter while digging out his wallet with the other.
“Hi. I have four coffees–well, two coffees, two hot chocolates, but they’re all the same price right?–aaaaand…I have two Coffee Cards, one’s mine, one’s my wife’s, and it’s the tenth punch on both which means one free which means two free ’cause there’s two cards so two coffees thanks sorry I’m in a hurry.”
The cards were actually both his. He’d planned this moment for months, getting a punch on one card, then the other, until both were one punch away from 1 (One) Free Hot Beverage Of Any Size.
He hit the Stop-N-Fil on their busiest day during their busiest time and gave his whole spiel quickly and in his best harried tone of voice, betting that by doing so the cashier wouldn’t think or wouldn’t care to look at the fine print on the Coffee Cards that stated only 1 (One) Free Hot Beverage Of Any Size could be redeemed per customer per visit and that the 1 (One) Free Hot Beverage Of Any Size could not be redeemed at the same time as the regularly-priced beverage purchase that resulted in the tenth punch on the card which in turn resulted in the 1 (One) Free Hot Beverage Of Any Size.
He was right. The cashier rang up two coffees and sent him on his way.
And just like that, he’d scored hot beverages for the whole family for half-price.
Yes, it was all aces for Percy Dorkwiener.