8thdayfiction

…and on the 8th day, micro fiction was published on some dude's blog.

An Excerpt From Ronnie’s Last Day As A Pyrotechnics Installer For The Zaroni Fireworks Company

“Ronnie?”

“Hey Jackie, what’s up?”

“Where are you right now?”

“I just finished setting up the job at Branch Ridge–that mega-church place, ya know?–and I’m on my way to stop and get a quick bite to eat before I come back to the office. You want me to pick you up a burger or somethin’?”

“No. What I want you to do is go back to Branch Ridge, apologize profusely, and fix your screw up.”

“Wait, wha–”

“I just got a call from their Executive Pastor who read me the riot act–in a nice, Christian way, but still–about the scaffolding you installed there.”

“Yeah, for the tower of sparklers. What, is there a problem?”

“Yes, Ronnie. There is. The pastor called because, sitting on the stage of their main auditorium is a sparkler tower which reads ‘HAPPY BOOBS YEAR’.”

“What? I–oh no…”

“Oh yes. So before you go to lunch, I’m gonna need you to go back to the church and dismantle that tower. Then I’m gonna need you to take the pieces of that tower, head back to Teazers Gentlemen’s Club–where you were this morning–and take down the sparkler tower on their stage that has the giant cross on it. Then, of course, you’ll have to re-set the right towers on the stages at both places. Then, go ahead and go to lunch. And then I’ll need you to come back here so we can have a talk about how you’ve now put us several hours behind schedule on one of our busiest days of the year and also how you’ve managed to cost us two of our biggest clients on the same day, OK?”

“Um, OK. Sor–”

The phone cut out.

Ronnie headed back to both work sites, switched the sparkler towers around, made his apologies, then headed to a late lunch.

He splurged and bought himself a Double Whopper, figuring it might be a while before he’d be able to afford such a meal again.

*****

So, in a little bit, I am going to sit down and write my very last story for this story-a-day-in-2012 project. On the one hand, I can’t believe I actually did it (or will have done it as of later this evening). On the other hand, I can believe it–it’s not like I climbed Mt. Everest or won a hot dog-eating contest or something amazing like that.

ANYway, my point is that I just wanted to remind those of you who have faithfully read these entries throughout the year that, as I have been posting the stories on a week delay, there will continue to be a new story posted daily on this ol’ blog through next Monday, Jan 7th, 2013, so there’s (a bit) more to come. And at that time, I’ll attach a proper thank you to all of you, but for now I just wanted to say: Thanks again for reading, and HAPPY BOOBS (sorry) NEW YEAR!

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6 thoughts on “An Excerpt From Ronnie’s Last Day As A Pyrotechnics Installer For The Zaroni Fireworks Company

  1. Wow! What an accomplishment, hon! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all of your pieces and many times laughed out loud while sitting at the computer all by myself! I look forward to the last week of short stories and will really miss reading them each day. Love ya, Mom

  2. B~ You are truly awesome! I admit that I don’t read them every day, but I HAVE read all of them. Just tonight I read and caught up on all of the ones I had not gotten to. I really missed the haiku of the day, I was a huge fan of those, but your short stories show your amazing your talent (and your warped sense of humor). What will you do for the new year? Surely you can’t just stop doing this now! I look forward to whatever project you start on next. Take care and keep on writing!

    Kelli

    • Hey, thanks! This year, I’m not going to do anything every day…but I’m going to keep writing. And do more artwork. That’s something I haven’t done enough of lately. But I’m giving myself a break from doing something every single day.

      I mean, I’ll probably sleep every day. And eat. Probably drink something, too. And put on clothes.

      And breathe. But other than that, I probably won’t do anything every day.

      Oh yeah–brush my teeth. That I’ll probably do every day.

  3. By the way, I’m sure Mt Everest is over-rated, and who needs a week of hot dog bloat anyway. So, I think your accomplishment is pretty cool, even if you don’t get a mustard-yellow belt to wear for a year… 🙂

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